From Stress To Growth and Connection
Relationships can be challenging even in the best of times. However, during economic stress, or when a couple embarks on buying/selling a home, losing or changing jobs, moving to a new area, dealing with extended family or children to name a few stressors, relationship issues can take on a new intensity.
Couples might find themselves wondering, "Who is this person I am with anyway?" Stress, even the stress of excitement, can bring out our differences. Soon we can find ourselves disagreeing on color of paint, where to eat, how to discipline the children, household chores and more. These disagreements can take on a life of their own and soon what seems like a simple decision becomes much more complex.
You might ask, "Are we really fighting over how to clean the house?" If we are truthful with ourselves we have a sense that the arguments are really much deeper. These arguments, which appear on the surface to be about a variety of topics, but feel to the self emotionally similar, have unconscious motives. Perhaps hidden in the need to have our choice this time is the need to feel validated. Our anger might be a disguise for the hurt we feel. Our need to be right might stem from our unmet childhood need for approval. Tension is actually growth waiting to happen.
Many couples reach a point in their relationship where romantic love changes into a power struggle. Whenever a new life stressor appears the old polarizing arguments resurface. The mistake most couples make is assuming recurring themes in arguments are to be expected and endured, or that the only way out of this relentless arguing is to break-up. You can rediscover romantic love and change arguments into connection. Couple's therapy can turn disagreements into a more intimate understanding of self and other, and turn tension into personal growth. Even individual therapy can have an effect on the dynamic of the couple, as well as giving the individual reduced stress and personal growth.
One of my passions in life is helping others find the love, connection and understanding they seek. I have experience with clients from many different backgrounds, ages and relationship styles. Through psychological insight I help clients gain emotional self-awareness about their communication and relationship patterns. I use an integrative approach utilizing techniques from theories such as Imago, Emotionally Focused, Bowen, Cognitive-Behavioral, Narrative and Strategic couple's therapy. I utilize the theoretical approach and techniques that best match each couple's style and issues. My style is interactive, empathic, supportive, relational and insight oriented. With respect and confidentiality I assist clients through their personal growth process.
If you are tired of arguing, or you want to take your relationship to the next level, call me at 925-548-8841 for a free phone consultation. Through engaging in counseling, help, understanding, better communication and a deeper connection between you and your partner are within your reach.
